TMSS: Vacation Edition

Okay, so this is shamefully late, seeing as this vacation happened in August. I know, I know. However, I hope you will enjoy these awkward, absurd, and genuinely hilarious moments from the Brogdon Family Vacation.

We're on our way to the hotel, driving through a sketchy part of a small town, we are behind some sort of industrial type building and there is little to no lighting...

Molly: We're going to find a corpse!

Mom: Gasps and points out the window

Molly: Shrieks and generally freaks out

Mom: A wormhole!

Molly: I'm really sore because I fell down the stairs earlier.

Mom: Well what did you hit?

Molly: The stairs...

Molly: If you're having a cockroach race, you should line the race track with wood.

Me: Why?

Molly: Don't cockroaches eat wood?

Me: That's termites.

Molly: .....oh.....

Molly: I see those ears and I think of imps and old people.

Molly asks to borrow a pen, so I hand her a Sharpie pen, which are kind of expensive as pens go.

Me: Looks over. Are you using my expensive pen to draw cartoon monsters on your notebook?

Molly: Um...well....yes.

Me: ....I guess I can't really object to that.

We are in the car, looking for somewhere to eat dinner when I look over and see Molly trying to smell her own foot.

Me: What are you DOING?!

Molly: There's really no way to explain this, is there?

We have JUST arrived at the hotel and I pull something out of my suitcase.

Molly: Ooh! What are you eating?

Me: Nothing...it's a pad.

Molly: Oh. I thought it was cheese.

Me: Why would I pull cheese out of my suitcase?!

Molly: I don't know...

And there you have it, our vacation in a nutshell. Well, that and Grant's Farm, Six Flags, and a bunch of other stuff. 

How to Train Your Sister (to believe in Dragons)

I am burning incense that is "Blood of the Dragon scented" and Molly complains that it smells weird
Me: You're just jealous because my incense is made of of dragon blood.
Molly: REALLY?!
Me: Yeah, cause dragons are real.
Molly: Oh, yeah...

Things My Sister's Friends Say, V.1

Molly: I have such a small butt.
Me: I know, I've known you for 16 years.
Neves (Knee-ev-is): *to me* You're 16?
Molly: No...I am....

Things My Sister

Guinea Pig

Molly: *points to my glass of water* You might not want to drink out of that
Me: Why?
Molly: That used to be a candle holder for like 3 years.
Me: Oh...that's my third glass of water.
Molly: Well you haven't died yet so it's probably safe for me to use next time.

Molly: Movies Edition

While watching the beginning of Tim Burton's 9
"What is this, some kind of apocalypse that only puppets survived?

Molly wants to watch the Goonies, but can't remember the name
Can we watch the badger movie?

While watching Eagle, a Roman warrior movie, we discovered that Molly watches too many crime shows
*during a battle scene*
They're leaving a lot of trace evidence.

Bacon

Molly: I want to get a tattoo of a star right here *points to wrist* on my 18th birthday.
Me: That's so overdone. I don't think you should get a tattoo unless it has significant meaning.
Molly: In that case, I should probably get bacon.
Me: ....*blink*.....

Molly Lately

Molly and I were sitting in the mall food court with our mom. I had gotten some raspberry iced tea that I ended up not liking, so a few minutes later when Molly told Mom she wanted tea, I offered her mine, to which she replied:
"I don't want your vintage tea!"

"You know that tree, the one that looks like this *flexes arm*? I kind of think it looks like it's going to smash the car like a bug with its giant tree fist."

"I remember on my 10th birthday, all I wanted was boobs."

I was trying to open Molly's new RED cd and having no luck, Molly takes the CD and calmly opens it and hands it back to me.
Molly: Here.
Me: Why would it open like that?!
Molly: Because the rest of the world isn't stupid.

I was telling my dad a LeBron James joke about how he doesn't have a 4th quarter, Molly doesn't get why it's funny and says very matter-of-factly:
"Well why don't they sit him out for the first quarter and just have him play the last three?"

Molly walks out of her room and states to the house:
"I have lost my mustache! If you see it, I would really like to have it back!"

Funnies from Molly's Sweet 16

     Anyone who has been watching this blog knows that Molly has been away for the past 2 weeks on a nannying job watching a 10 year old, 7 year old, 5 year old, and a 3 year old. However, this past Thursday myself, my parents, and Molly's two good friends Sammii and Rachel went down to Decatur to surprise her for her 16th birthday. Here are just a couple funny moments from that awesome day.

*as she is practically inhaling her soup at Olive Garden*
Molly: *sets down her spoon abruptly* I just realized that I can eat at a normal pace because I don't have children to run after.

*I look out of the corner of my eye to see Molly stick her finger into my Blizzard and get a big scoop of ice cream which she then plops in her mouth:
Me: I know you did not just...
Molly: *nods while laughing hysterically*
Me: There is no excuse for you...
Molly: It's my birthday, if I want your ice cream I'm darn well going to have some.

*the girls see a man in yellow pants, a green shirt, and a red hat*
Molly: That's how gnomes are dressed!

25 May 2011

Molly is currently gone on a two-week nanny-ing job, so I'm sorely lacking the funnies that she spits out on a daily basis. I do, however receive one or two via text message. For example:

Molly: Little kids with fat rolls make me sad.
Me: Lololol What?!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Molly: Mark Twain? Didn't he write Moby Dick
Me: No...

Molly: They ordered one too...not..many..?
Me: One too few....
Molly: Yeah, what yu said.

A Few Not-so-Recent Quotes

*while watching tv*

Molly: Ooh! I want that pretty blue drink!

Me: .....I think that's a fish bowl....

Molly: *sadly* Oh...

*while Molly is taking a pre-employment math test*

Me: What?! The answer is not 412 ounces! What kind of crackhead math are you doing?

Molly: Home school math....

Molly: Wait....aren't there 12 commandments?

Me: *blink....blink....stare....*

Molly: I FOUND THE PORT-A-POTTIES!!!

Molly Kaye

     Hey! I guess I should start out by introducing myself and the author of all the wisdom that will grace this page. If you have read any of my blogs you know that my name is Larra, I'm an art student entering my second year of college, and when I'm not at school I live with my mom, dad, six cats, three dogs, two birds, four sea monkeys, and my little sister, Molly who is entering her Junior year of high school. She loves Jesus, elephants, texting, the murals I paint on her bedroom walls, and visiting me at school. The thing about Molly is that she basically says the greatest things ever. Seriously, this kid is the most unintentionally hilarious person EVER. So, I have decided to immortalize Molly's greatest quotes on the internet, in blog form, for all of you to enjoy. 

Me and Molly at the McDonald's near my school.

 Molly on vacation in Florida last Spring.

     So, basically, enjoy. Laugh your butt off. Laugh so hard you cry and ruin your eyeliner, that's what I do. I hope you have a jolly good time at the expense of myself and my ridiculous sister/best friend. 

All our love, Larra and Molly (who is sitting right beside me....texting...;)