Christmas Vacation and Other Funnies

• (as her finger tenses up and she can't get it to move) Mom! My finger just randomly stopped!!
• If Spongebob lives in a circular pineapple then why are all the....corners?
• Adam: An awkward face? What does an awkward face look like?
  Molly: You're looking at it! WAIT!
• Adam: I'm going to buy Asia because I have THAT MUCH MONEY!
  Molly: Oooh! You should buy China too!

We're Back!

My sophomore year of college was hectic to say the least, you may already know that if you've been keeping up over at Adventuring as an Artist, which resulted in 0 new posts for you, my readers, and that just sucks. So here are a few gems for you that Molly has come up with this past year and what has been of the summer, in addition to some funnies from my other family and friends.

Me: You know Molly doesn't believe in agreeing with anything anyone says.
Molly: That's not true!

Mom: *picks up a "loves me, loves me not" scented plug in* What does that smell like? Disappointment?


*while Molly is choking on her Starbucks*
Me: Don't spit it out! That was expensive!


Little girl at the Amtrak station: One time I rode a horses and I was not even sick!
Me: Um....that's good


Valeri (my roommate): What would you do if you turned on the light and there was a wild animal in our room?

TMSS: Vacation Edition

Okay, so this is shamefully late, seeing as this vacation happened in August. I know, I know. However, I hope you will enjoy these awkward, absurd, and genuinely hilarious moments from the Brogdon Family Vacation.

We're on our way to the hotel, driving through a sketchy part of a small town, we are behind some sort of industrial type building and there is little to no lighting...

Molly: We're going to find a corpse!

Mom: Gasps and points out the window

Molly: Shrieks and generally freaks out

Mom: A wormhole!

Molly: I'm really sore because I fell down the stairs earlier.

Mom: Well what did you hit?

Molly: The stairs...

Molly: If you're having a cockroach race, you should line the race track with wood.

Me: Why?

Molly: Don't cockroaches eat wood?

Me: That's termites.

Molly: .....oh.....

Molly: I see those ears and I think of imps and old people.

Molly asks to borrow a pen, so I hand her a Sharpie pen, which are kind of expensive as pens go.

Me: Looks over. Are you using my expensive pen to draw cartoon monsters on your notebook?

Molly: Um...well....yes.

Me: ....I guess I can't really object to that.

We are in the car, looking for somewhere to eat dinner when I look over and see Molly trying to smell her own foot.

Me: What are you DOING?!

Molly: There's really no way to explain this, is there?

We have JUST arrived at the hotel and I pull something out of my suitcase.

Molly: Ooh! What are you eating?

Me: Nothing...it's a pad.

Molly: Oh. I thought it was cheese.

Me: Why would I pull cheese out of my suitcase?!

Molly: I don't know...

And there you have it, our vacation in a nutshell. Well, that and Grant's Farm, Six Flags, and a bunch of other stuff. 

How to Train Your Sister (to believe in Dragons)

I am burning incense that is "Blood of the Dragon scented" and Molly complains that it smells weird
Me: You're just jealous because my incense is made of of dragon blood.
Molly: REALLY?!
Me: Yeah, cause dragons are real.
Molly: Oh, yeah...

Things My Sister's Friends Say, V.1

Molly: I have such a small butt.
Me: I know, I've known you for 16 years.
Neves (Knee-ev-is): *to me* You're 16?
Molly: No...I am....

Things My Sister

Guinea Pig

Molly: *points to my glass of water* You might not want to drink out of that
Me: Why?
Molly: That used to be a candle holder for like 3 years.
Me: Oh...that's my third glass of water.
Molly: Well you haven't died yet so it's probably safe for me to use next time.